the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Randomize
