8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
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