Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
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