i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
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