very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
I'm drive I can fine osifer
Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
Randomize
