My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Randomize
