no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
Randomize
