Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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