They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
Randomize
