i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
Randomize
