I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
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