oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
Randomize
