why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
Tornado booty call.. dedication
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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