? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
I should put together a new mom basket for her. It would have diapers, vodka, ambien, and tissues for when she cries about her wasted youth.
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
Randomize
