omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
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