Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
Hey, so I'm not coming into work til Friday. Some guy I've known for about 8 hours just offered me a free vacation to Maui and bought my plane ticket. He's Aussie so I'm 75% sure he won't murder me
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
Randomize
