Will you blow on my dice?
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
Randomize
