i jhust puked up my retainher.
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
