Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
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