Just cropdusted the office
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
PS: I just woke up from my shower
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
Randomize
