Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
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