My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
Best part of being a cop: When I showed up at Thanksgiving with stitches in my head I could tell them I was "protecting and serving" not "drinking and falling down". Career validated.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
