When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
I see more hoeing in ur future
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
Randomize
