It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Randomize
