Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
Randomize
