At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
Randomize
