What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
Xanax induced break ups are the best. Since I'm a professional fiancee, I'm going to break up with them on Xanax from now on. It didn't hurt one tiiiiiny bit.
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
I think I just shit out all my problems.
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
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