i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
