YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
I need to sanitize my soul.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
Randomize
