Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
Randomize
