YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
Randomize
