don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
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