How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
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