we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
