Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
