STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
I deserve this hangover.
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
Randomize
