It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
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