I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
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