The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
Randomize
