did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
I AM VODKA MAN
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
And then the night went full on bisexual.
Randomize
