So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
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