We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
Randomize
