Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
Why did I cab home last night?
Because you said you were drunk, sad, and someone called you a hooker.
I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
Randomize
