I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
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