i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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