She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
You know what would have been funny if we got arrested last night? The inventory search of the lock box:\n\nContents:\n1 work ID\n1 33 round Glock magazine\n1 set of keys\n1 vibrator\n2 bags fruit snacks\n1 parking hang tag
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
