turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
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