Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
as a side note pls kill me
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
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