took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
Randomize
