My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize
