Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
what day is it and did you see me today?
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
Randomize
